Biden stumbled and slurred through a pre-written speech barely 10 minutes long, announcing 31 "Abram" tanks as basically a birthday gift to Zelensky.

He made sure to trot out every single trope — brutal aggression, fighting for freedom, this is totally all defensive stuff, stand with Ukraine, united with allies — and once again claimed victory against entirely imaginary Russian objectives. He then shuffled off, bereft of all energy. And it's barely noon.

Barely a thousand people watched the YouTube feed, most of them probably journ0lists about to be replaced by ChatGPT.