Dear Dave,
I want to thank you for searching out the mysteries of GOD and then sharing them with the rest of us. I’d like to share with you how much your Emotional Healing book has transformed my inner landscape. I was ‘woe is me’ inside at least 40% of the time until a few weeks ago. Now, I am bursting with gratitude and joy. So much so, that I needed to splash my gratitude and joy on you!
I’ve always been very skilled at hiding my pain behind humor. I could fool myself as easily as I could fool those around me. I finally admitted to a doctor a few weeks ago that I was suicidal, but I told him I was a cowardly one who didn’t want to cause my family pain. I refused to seek therapy. I’ve tried therapy in the past, but I’m an INFJ. We are great listeners, so I was able to help my therapists work through their issues. I can do that for free without needing to pay them for the opportunity.
Yesterday, Thanksgiving, the family got together and I got triggered by a family member on an unhealed, emotional wound. It’s a silly thing to be wounded on, but he got my ‘correction’ right at the table in front of everyone.
I have a Cranberry & Orange Relish recipe that is wonderful and addictive. I would eat it every day for the rest of my life, but fresh cranberries are only available around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even when I freeze copious amounts of it, it never lasts until my birthday in February.
Years ago, I went overboard and made too much of it for a family Thanksgiving dinner of 45-70 people. Much of it was thrown away by my family because it ferments fairly quick if not frozen. Since that time, I am always asked to bring a ‘small’ amount of Cranberry Relish to our Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. My family thinks it’s hilarious, while I always feel embarrassed, unappreciated, and resentful.
Yesterday, I told a family member he was hurting my feelings when he made his ‘small’ jab as he asked me to pass him my relish which tickled him even more. I truly unloaded on him for acting like a jerk. I said, in his ongoing efforts to become more like Jesus he should consider implementing Dr. Ben Carson’s Best/Worst Assessment when considering another’s feelings (which we have discussed before).
“What is the best / worst thing to happen if you don’t mention to bring a ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to the party?
“Best: I bring the appropriate amount and no extra is thrown away.
Worst: I bring too much and you will need to throw away $10 worth of food
“What is the best / worst thing to happen if you do mention to bring a ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to the party?
“Best: I bring the appropriate amount and no extra is thrown away and you hurt my feelings.
Worst: I bring too much and you will need to throw away $10 worth of food.
“Since the ‘Worst’ outcomes are exactly the same in both instances, I request that you take a RISK and don’t mention ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to me ever again.”
I could tell I had offended and embarrassed him, but I didn’t care until Holy Spirit let me know in Her kind way that I had just given my family member an emotional wound that would need healing. I apologized (still at the table) and used the example of the ‘wound’ I had just given him to explain Praying Medic’s 4 easy steps for emotional healing.
He got stuck when I asked him what emotion he felt when I unloaded on him so he kinda’ apologized for offending me. I grabbed onto that word to walk through the 4 steps. Later that day, he told me my example was wrong and he hadn’t been offended. I apologized and told him I must have been ‘projecting’ what I was feeling onto him when I came up with that word. (I didn’t catch GOD’s joke until this morning when He needed to explain it to me!)
This morning my family member texted me to ask for the 4 steps again in writing so he can practice them on his own which I did immediately. Only GOD can turn our hurt nonsense into His GOLD! Thank You, Lord!
Best,
Royal T Berg
I want to thank you for searching out the mysteries of GOD and then sharing them with the rest of us. I’d like to share with you how much your Emotional Healing book has transformed my inner landscape. I was ‘woe is me’ inside at least 40% of the time until a few weeks ago. Now, I am bursting with gratitude and joy. So much so, that I needed to splash my gratitude and joy on you!
I’ve always been very skilled at hiding my pain behind humor. I could fool myself as easily as I could fool those around me. I finally admitted to a doctor a few weeks ago that I was suicidal, but I told him I was a cowardly one who didn’t want to cause my family pain. I refused to seek therapy. I’ve tried therapy in the past, but I’m an INFJ. We are great listeners, so I was able to help my therapists work through their issues. I can do that for free without needing to pay them for the opportunity.
Yesterday, Thanksgiving, the family got together and I got triggered by a family member on an unhealed, emotional wound. It’s a silly thing to be wounded on, but he got my ‘correction’ right at the table in front of everyone.
I have a Cranberry & Orange Relish recipe that is wonderful and addictive. I would eat it every day for the rest of my life, but fresh cranberries are only available around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even when I freeze copious amounts of it, it never lasts until my birthday in February.
Years ago, I went overboard and made too much of it for a family Thanksgiving dinner of 45-70 people. Much of it was thrown away by my family because it ferments fairly quick if not frozen. Since that time, I am always asked to bring a ‘small’ amount of Cranberry Relish to our Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. My family thinks it’s hilarious, while I always feel embarrassed, unappreciated, and resentful.
Yesterday, I told a family member he was hurting my feelings when he made his ‘small’ jab as he asked me to pass him my relish which tickled him even more. I truly unloaded on him for acting like a jerk. I said, in his ongoing efforts to become more like Jesus he should consider implementing Dr. Ben Carson’s Best/Worst Assessment when considering another’s feelings (which we have discussed before).
“What is the best / worst thing to happen if you don’t mention to bring a ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to the party?
“Best: I bring the appropriate amount and no extra is thrown away.
Worst: I bring too much and you will need to throw away $10 worth of food
“What is the best / worst thing to happen if you do mention to bring a ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to the party?
“Best: I bring the appropriate amount and no extra is thrown away and you hurt my feelings.
Worst: I bring too much and you will need to throw away $10 worth of food.
“Since the ‘Worst’ outcomes are exactly the same in both instances, I request that you take a RISK and don’t mention ‘small’ amount of cranberry relish to me ever again.”
I could tell I had offended and embarrassed him, but I didn’t care until Holy Spirit let me know in Her kind way that I had just given my family member an emotional wound that would need healing. I apologized (still at the table) and used the example of the ‘wound’ I had just given him to explain Praying Medic’s 4 easy steps for emotional healing.
He got stuck when I asked him what emotion he felt when I unloaded on him so he kinda’ apologized for offending me. I grabbed onto that word to walk through the 4 steps. Later that day, he told me my example was wrong and he hadn’t been offended. I apologized and told him I must have been ‘projecting’ what I was feeling onto him when I came up with that word. (I didn’t catch GOD’s joke until this morning when He needed to explain it to me!)
This morning my family member texted me to ask for the 4 steps again in writing so he can practice them on his own which I did immediately. Only GOD can turn our hurt nonsense into His GOLD! Thank You, Lord!
Best,
Royal T Berg